Strict, Unbending Rules For Dealing With Stray Cats
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Stray cats will not be fed.
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Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
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Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with
a little milk.
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Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with
warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
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Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.
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Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
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Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely
not be given a name.
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Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house
at any time.
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Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.
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Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in
"y".
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Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen
their claws on the furniture.
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Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the
really good furniture.
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Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on
new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.
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Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
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Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact
plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
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Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with
a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.
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Stray cats will sleep outside.
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Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
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Stray cats will sleep in the house.
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Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
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Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic
lamb's wool pillow.
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Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
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Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
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Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.
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Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except
at the foot.
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Stray cats will not play on the desk.
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Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
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Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when
the human is sdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hbdm9l o9jmdskdm,. USING IT.